An ex-girlfriend of mine got married this weekend. We’re almost exactly the same age. As soon as I found out it was her wedding weekend, I broke out in a cold sweat. “Married?” I gasped. “At 22? That’s madness!”. Then I remembered a lot of people get married in their early 20s, and almost everyone did a few generations ago. So why was the prospect so daunting and alien to me?
The answer is simple; I am one of a new breed of adult male, a breed that’s rapidly increasing numbers are, or at least should be, a cause for concern. I am a manchild, and I’m scared of marriage because girls are icky.
Ok, so manchildren aren’t that bad. We’re like normal men in almost every way except for our aversion to a sense of maturity, reposnsibility and grownupiness (and as a manchild, I’m neither embarrassed nor concerned about using the word “grownupiness“). We’re the kind of blokes that think a quiet night in is getting wasted with friends and playing video games; the kind that thinks high-brow comedy is boring because there’s no farting; the kind that can’t cope with a serious relationship because they’re for ‘old people’.
I think Dylan Moran explained it best in one of his stand-up DVDs. Having explained the theatrical turbulence girls go through as they reach maturity and beyond, he sums up that a man is just “a tall child holding a beer”. He is exactly right; having looked back on my last ten years in terms of social activities and favourite hobbies, my life is exactly as it was when I was 12, aside from the inclusion of sex and beer (and, to be honest, they’re almost non-existent parts of my life at the moment).
This is obviously the fault of a technologically wondrous quality of life. As a kid, I was obsessed with technology. All the fancy features and weird devices, and the games. Oh my days, those wonderful, wonderful games! The problem was that new gadgets just kept coming, and the lovely games got bigger and better and longer. A hundred years ago children pushed a hoop with a stick. When they got older, they never carried on playing with them. The hoops didn’t become remote controlled, the sticks didn’t start playing mp3s. It was just the same old boring hoop-stick bollocks they’d put up with their entire childhood. When it was time to grow up, they must have done it gladly.
Nowadays, however, the stuff we played with as kids just keeps getting better. How could we possibly say goodbye to something that keeps getting even more awesome by the day? We can’t, so instead of striding into adulthood, we limp there, pulled down by the weight of the adolescence we’re trying to carry with us.
What we’re left with is this bizarre adult-kid hybrid of a man that looks like he’d pull off a formal suit at a gala dinner, but would rather dress up as a power ranger and go to a house party. And sadly this immaturity extends further than our interests; it affects our relationships too.
When it comes to our parents, we’re far too dependent on them. The adult in us enjoys to freedom and responsibility of being our own person, but the child in us is saying “mummy, please can I have some money to play out?” And as far as love is concerned, we act like virgin teenagers; always looking for a brief, week-long whirlwind romance where we can have fun, sleep around and then shirk all responsibility, saying “this is just a fling, I’ve got my whole life left to try and settle down”.
And so we live our lives like morons trapped in a bore’s body. We scupper our chances at emotional connections with long-term partners in favour of internet connections with co-op Halo partners. And as for my ex? Well, I feel sorry for her husband; he must have one awful case of cooties.
Sunday, 21 November 2010
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
"Son of God died today. Crucified by Romans. FML"
Whilst eating my tea last night, I happened to catch the first ten minutes of Emmerdale, and was presented with the Dingle family having a philosophical debate about the causes of suicide. While all their hypothetical reasoning was all well and good, and surprisingly profound for their characters, they failed to mention a deliciously ironic reason - soap operas. Probably not Emmerdale, since their most depressing moment of the night was an awful actor saying "I want to die" in a very monotonous voice, not really heartstring tugging-stuff. Similarly, Coronation Street has far too much humour and normailty to be considered depressing. So yes, I'm only referring to Eastenders.
I've never been massively into Eastenders, so I can't say from personal experience that it causes depression (although the Danielle/Ronnie story moved me to writing a song about it), but I'm going to assume that when a TV show ends with an "if this story has emotionally crippled you, please call this number" message, it's a depressing show. I had heard, though it was never confirmed, that some people have genuinely attemped (and possibly succeeded in) suicide because of something that happened in Eastenders. I find it quite funny that a show set in a rough part of London is allowed to broadcast content that makes people want to kill themselves, but the characters have to call each other "pillocks" because of the timeslot.
This is why I prefer American TV shows. Take Battlestar Galactica, for instance. Everyone always brushes it off as a sci-fi show, and therefore refuses to watch it, but it's so much more than than. Almost every single character was perfectly written, the acting and scripts and backstories combined into making completely grounded and genuine humans... in space. Sure, the plot is a tad ridiculous, and there are several space battles scattered around the series, but most of the time I was watching it, I completely forgot it was a sci-fi; to me, it was a character piece.
Do you remember Martin Fowler on Eastenders? He had one facial expression, was always hoarsely shouting, thought working on a fruit stall was a suitable career and ended up getting a girl pregnant, hitting her boyfriend with a car, then marrying her. Does that sound like a believable human being to you? Now take Gaius Baltar on BSG. He was a very intelligent man who was ashamed of coming from such a poor farming background, and so pushed himself to achieve his dreams. He worked hard, but still retained a secret love for his home and his family. I don't know anyone who wants to work in a shop all their life, or has killed someone and married their girlfriend, but I do know people who have gone from zero to hero without being alienated by their newfound social status. So there we go - somewhere, lost in the ravages of space, flying around in a giant spaceship that can travel faster than the speed of light, are people more realistic than Londoners.
My only problem is that a lot of decent shows are ending, or have already ended. Actually, that's my second problem, my first problem is that I've gotten halfway through a blog entry and have no idea what I'm going to write next. I'd consider writing more on how all my favourite shows are finishing, but I doubt you'd want to read that. Yet I honestly can't think of what else to write. Isn't that just typical of this generation? What on earth am I going to discuss once the things I do discuss have finished contributing anything new to talk about? Do I repeat everything I've already said, or do I stay quiet for eternity? I think this may be touching upon the lack of originality topic from my previous blog entry; have we actually spoken about everything in the world now? Is there nothing left to talk about that hasn't already been talked about?
Of course not, I'm just being ridiculous for the sake of it to keep up with my doomsday persona. Take a look outside and you'll notice that not everything is awful, I just say these things because I, for some reason, am a lot better at complaining than I am at praising. Why do you think I keep mentioning the 2012 apocalypse? It's never going to happen, although try telling that to the fools who think it genuinely is, I just say it because I think it's a suitable plot point; if you were trying to justify why things are bad at the moment, wouldn't you blame to apocalypse as well? The point I'm trying to make, though, is that I do my best not to shove my conflicting views down others peoples' throats. Which is more than I can say for the folk at Westboro Baptist Church.
I only found out about these deplorable people recently, having been in a mass MSN conversation where people were discussing them, and came to the conclusion that Supernatural was right. I always thought these people might exist somewhere, but hoped they were just a myth. Now I know they're real, what else might be real? Ghosts? Demons? Jim Davidson? All our nightmares are coming true people, these hideous creatures are among us. Check under your bed, carry garlic with you, don't trust your neighbours. Just be prepared, lest you fall foul of these insane religious bellends without the adequate tools to fight them off with!
I actually do hate them. Their problem is that they're so determined they're right that it's utterly impossible to make them change their mind, or at least look at something from every angle. Present them with a completely logical argument that invalidates something they've stated as fact, and they'll say "Don't question the Word of God!" or something. How convenient it is to have an all-knowing, all-powerful being with a fetish for keeping secrets on your side. How on Earth are we supposed to compete with that? I'm not trying to say I abhor religion or religious people because I don't, and I'm a very spiritual person myself (though not devoted to a single religion, as such). But why are there people in this world that have to take everything so literally? The Bible is there for people to get a decent sense of morality, it's there to show people what the fundamental aspects of being a decent person are, it isn't literal, people didn't actually come back to life or have their blindness cured or get full off a tiny bit of bread and fish. It's more of a set of guidelines than actual rules; you don't see pirates discussing the literal meaning of parley, do you?
I sent a strongly worded e-mail to these people, basically taking the passages they adhere to so vehemently and explaining how they're doing the exact opposite of what these passages say, and asking them how to explain some glaring inconsistencies and hypocrisies in their statements. If they ever respond, I'll post the results onto this blog. That's if I haven't already killed myself watching Eastenders.
I've never been massively into Eastenders, so I can't say from personal experience that it causes depression (although the Danielle/Ronnie story moved me to writing a song about it), but I'm going to assume that when a TV show ends with an "if this story has emotionally crippled you, please call this number" message, it's a depressing show. I had heard, though it was never confirmed, that some people have genuinely attemped (and possibly succeeded in) suicide because of something that happened in Eastenders. I find it quite funny that a show set in a rough part of London is allowed to broadcast content that makes people want to kill themselves, but the characters have to call each other "pillocks" because of the timeslot.
This is why I prefer American TV shows. Take Battlestar Galactica, for instance. Everyone always brushes it off as a sci-fi show, and therefore refuses to watch it, but it's so much more than than. Almost every single character was perfectly written, the acting and scripts and backstories combined into making completely grounded and genuine humans... in space. Sure, the plot is a tad ridiculous, and there are several space battles scattered around the series, but most of the time I was watching it, I completely forgot it was a sci-fi; to me, it was a character piece.
Do you remember Martin Fowler on Eastenders? He had one facial expression, was always hoarsely shouting, thought working on a fruit stall was a suitable career and ended up getting a girl pregnant, hitting her boyfriend with a car, then marrying her. Does that sound like a believable human being to you? Now take Gaius Baltar on BSG. He was a very intelligent man who was ashamed of coming from such a poor farming background, and so pushed himself to achieve his dreams. He worked hard, but still retained a secret love for his home and his family. I don't know anyone who wants to work in a shop all their life, or has killed someone and married their girlfriend, but I do know people who have gone from zero to hero without being alienated by their newfound social status. So there we go - somewhere, lost in the ravages of space, flying around in a giant spaceship that can travel faster than the speed of light, are people more realistic than Londoners.
My only problem is that a lot of decent shows are ending, or have already ended. Actually, that's my second problem, my first problem is that I've gotten halfway through a blog entry and have no idea what I'm going to write next. I'd consider writing more on how all my favourite shows are finishing, but I doubt you'd want to read that. Yet I honestly can't think of what else to write. Isn't that just typical of this generation? What on earth am I going to discuss once the things I do discuss have finished contributing anything new to talk about? Do I repeat everything I've already said, or do I stay quiet for eternity? I think this may be touching upon the lack of originality topic from my previous blog entry; have we actually spoken about everything in the world now? Is there nothing left to talk about that hasn't already been talked about?
Of course not, I'm just being ridiculous for the sake of it to keep up with my doomsday persona. Take a look outside and you'll notice that not everything is awful, I just say these things because I, for some reason, am a lot better at complaining than I am at praising. Why do you think I keep mentioning the 2012 apocalypse? It's never going to happen, although try telling that to the fools who think it genuinely is, I just say it because I think it's a suitable plot point; if you were trying to justify why things are bad at the moment, wouldn't you blame to apocalypse as well? The point I'm trying to make, though, is that I do my best not to shove my conflicting views down others peoples' throats. Which is more than I can say for the folk at Westboro Baptist Church.
I only found out about these deplorable people recently, having been in a mass MSN conversation where people were discussing them, and came to the conclusion that Supernatural was right. I always thought these people might exist somewhere, but hoped they were just a myth. Now I know they're real, what else might be real? Ghosts? Demons? Jim Davidson? All our nightmares are coming true people, these hideous creatures are among us. Check under your bed, carry garlic with you, don't trust your neighbours. Just be prepared, lest you fall foul of these insane religious bellends without the adequate tools to fight them off with!
I actually do hate them. Their problem is that they're so determined they're right that it's utterly impossible to make them change their mind, or at least look at something from every angle. Present them with a completely logical argument that invalidates something they've stated as fact, and they'll say "Don't question the Word of God!" or something. How convenient it is to have an all-knowing, all-powerful being with a fetish for keeping secrets on your side. How on Earth are we supposed to compete with that? I'm not trying to say I abhor religion or religious people because I don't, and I'm a very spiritual person myself (though not devoted to a single religion, as such). But why are there people in this world that have to take everything so literally? The Bible is there for people to get a decent sense of morality, it's there to show people what the fundamental aspects of being a decent person are, it isn't literal, people didn't actually come back to life or have their blindness cured or get full off a tiny bit of bread and fish. It's more of a set of guidelines than actual rules; you don't see pirates discussing the literal meaning of parley, do you?
I sent a strongly worded e-mail to these people, basically taking the passages they adhere to so vehemently and explaining how they're doing the exact opposite of what these passages say, and asking them how to explain some glaring inconsistencies and hypocrisies in their statements. If they ever respond, I'll post the results onto this blog. That's if I haven't already killed myself watching Eastenders.
Saturday, 24 April 2010
I'd have an original thought, but I'm too busy being [CENSORED]
Well, it looks as though Pixar is finally running out of ideas. Of the four films it's set to release within the next two years, only one, Brave, is an original idea. Everything else is a sequel; Toy Story 3, Cars 2 and Monsters Inc. 2 (the latter of which being scheduled for release in late November 2012, so close to the apocalypse!). Now, don't get me wrong, I think most of Pixar's films are utterly brilliant (aside from Finding Nemo, but don't get me started on why I hate that), but Pixar has been the driving force behind Disney's creative and original output for over ten years now. Surely it's the beginning of the end when they have to start putting out sequels because they can't think of a unique story? This means all hopes of Disney's originality rest on the new hand-drawn animated features they've promised to deliver every two years, which could kill Disney as we all remember it for good.
As soon as Disney said they were returning to their hand-drawn roots, there was an uproar of delight from my generation, the generation that grew up during the infamous Disney Renaissance. With a string of below-average box office failures under his belt, Michael Eisner knew he had to produce something spectacular to send Disney flying back to the throne they deserved. And so they produced The Little Mermaid, and the renaissance had begun. Forget the boring renaissance that started in the 14th Century, statues and paintings and the like can't hold a candle to The Lion King and Aladdin. After years of disappointment, in the space of 10 years Disney managed to prove to the world why it was so universally loved, and everything was good. But what about now?
The problem with modern day Disney is that they've forgotten who they're appealing to. Sure, the kids all love this Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana tripe they keep churning out, but that's because those kids weren't there. They have no idea how awesome Disney can be, and end up settling for this gangrenous swill because it's all they've got to go on. So our generation is left disgusted and alienated, wondering where it all went wrong. If only Disney had done more to appeal to us than fart out sub-par, direct-to-DVD sequels to all our favourite films, things might be different. They seem to forget that we're the generation that's going to produce the children watching their stuff and giving them money in the next five, ten or fifteen years. Which is probably why this animated surge has suddenly come about.
But what if it fails? What if these animated films stay to the same quality as the barely average The Princess And The Frog? We'll be even more disillusioned than before, and we certainly won't allow our kids to watch their output. "Daddy, can I watch the Disney channel?" "WHAT? And put me through the ordeal of watching High School Musical 15? I think not! I'd rather spread Marmite all over my eyeballs!" (This example doesn't have the same effect if you like Marmite, so 50% of you will, statistically, 'not get it') Disney are playing a risky game here, with everything to gain and even more to lose. But if it works out, things might be just as good as they ever were! Which is something I can't say the same about for other well-loved animated productions...
South Park's 200th episode was a great episode, but I also hated it immensely. Going into it, I knew they were going to refer a lot to their glorious back catalogue of hilarious and offensive episodes, but it just turned out looking like a massive ego-stroking session. Matt and Trey have every idea how brilliant their show is, so they shamelessly filled this episode with references to older episodes, most of which had no bearing on the plot, they were just time fillers, which really annoyed the fans. The episode itself was great, but what we wanted was an original story with various significant call-backs justified by the plot. Instead we were given a story quite clearly scrapped together in two minutes, loosely referred to in a two-episode long clip-show of all their favourite South Park moments.
The main background to the episode was clearly the creators doing their best to not-so-subtly voice their opinions on free speech and censorship, while offending as many Muslims as possible for good measure. Well done guys, but I'm quite sure your opinions were pretty well interpreted during the Cartoon Wars episodes - you don't think this should be a 'one rule for one, another rule for another' world. I'm inclined to agree with them though, the free speech in this world is ridiculous. Apparently it's ok for South Park to show Buddha snorting coke or Jesus looking at porn, but we must avoid showing Mohammed at all costs, lest the Muslims bomb us! Just because various extremist (I can't emphasise that word enough) Muslim groups have acted violently towards the West doesn't mean they're all like that. And I'm quite sure the Crusades proved that Christians can be rather violent if they want to be.
I hate to use the phrase "it's political correctness gone mad", but I just have. The problem is it's not the political correctness of the common people that's the problem, it's the executives, all sat in their shiny offices, wearing suits more expensive than my house and trying to control the world. Sure, they'll let us make fun of Buddhists and Christians because they can take it and won't do anything about it, except maybe write a strongly worded letter. But watch out lads! Don't piss off the 'Muzzos', because they're all super violent, yeah? And they'll, like, totally blow us up, man! And that's, like, totally bad for business!
So yes, I agree with Matt and Trey about their message about censorship, but it doesn't make the 200th episode any better because they just repeated the exact same message they made in Cartoon Wars, except taking it to a higher and grander level. Even jokes were reused again and again, signifying that maybe Parker and Stone have run out of ideas as well. Is this what the "impending" 2012 apocalypse is all about? Are we all going to run out of original thoughts until we end up repeating history itself, causing the world to get confused as to what year it is and implode? Or perhaps will the multitude of offended Muslims kill us all for taking things "too far"?
I'll tell you one thing though; if the world is going to end in December 2012, Monster's Inc. 2 had better be good. I don't want to die disappointed.
As soon as Disney said they were returning to their hand-drawn roots, there was an uproar of delight from my generation, the generation that grew up during the infamous Disney Renaissance. With a string of below-average box office failures under his belt, Michael Eisner knew he had to produce something spectacular to send Disney flying back to the throne they deserved. And so they produced The Little Mermaid, and the renaissance had begun. Forget the boring renaissance that started in the 14th Century, statues and paintings and the like can't hold a candle to The Lion King and Aladdin. After years of disappointment, in the space of 10 years Disney managed to prove to the world why it was so universally loved, and everything was good. But what about now?
The problem with modern day Disney is that they've forgotten who they're appealing to. Sure, the kids all love this Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana tripe they keep churning out, but that's because those kids weren't there. They have no idea how awesome Disney can be, and end up settling for this gangrenous swill because it's all they've got to go on. So our generation is left disgusted and alienated, wondering where it all went wrong. If only Disney had done more to appeal to us than fart out sub-par, direct-to-DVD sequels to all our favourite films, things might be different. They seem to forget that we're the generation that's going to produce the children watching their stuff and giving them money in the next five, ten or fifteen years. Which is probably why this animated surge has suddenly come about.
But what if it fails? What if these animated films stay to the same quality as the barely average The Princess And The Frog? We'll be even more disillusioned than before, and we certainly won't allow our kids to watch their output. "Daddy, can I watch the Disney channel?" "WHAT? And put me through the ordeal of watching High School Musical 15? I think not! I'd rather spread Marmite all over my eyeballs!" (This example doesn't have the same effect if you like Marmite, so 50% of you will, statistically, 'not get it') Disney are playing a risky game here, with everything to gain and even more to lose. But if it works out, things might be just as good as they ever were! Which is something I can't say the same about for other well-loved animated productions...
South Park's 200th episode was a great episode, but I also hated it immensely. Going into it, I knew they were going to refer a lot to their glorious back catalogue of hilarious and offensive episodes, but it just turned out looking like a massive ego-stroking session. Matt and Trey have every idea how brilliant their show is, so they shamelessly filled this episode with references to older episodes, most of which had no bearing on the plot, they were just time fillers, which really annoyed the fans. The episode itself was great, but what we wanted was an original story with various significant call-backs justified by the plot. Instead we were given a story quite clearly scrapped together in two minutes, loosely referred to in a two-episode long clip-show of all their favourite South Park moments.
The main background to the episode was clearly the creators doing their best to not-so-subtly voice their opinions on free speech and censorship, while offending as many Muslims as possible for good measure. Well done guys, but I'm quite sure your opinions were pretty well interpreted during the Cartoon Wars episodes - you don't think this should be a 'one rule for one, another rule for another' world. I'm inclined to agree with them though, the free speech in this world is ridiculous. Apparently it's ok for South Park to show Buddha snorting coke or Jesus looking at porn, but we must avoid showing Mohammed at all costs, lest the Muslims bomb us! Just because various extremist (I can't emphasise that word enough) Muslim groups have acted violently towards the West doesn't mean they're all like that. And I'm quite sure the Crusades proved that Christians can be rather violent if they want to be.
I hate to use the phrase "it's political correctness gone mad", but I just have. The problem is it's not the political correctness of the common people that's the problem, it's the executives, all sat in their shiny offices, wearing suits more expensive than my house and trying to control the world. Sure, they'll let us make fun of Buddhists and Christians because they can take it and won't do anything about it, except maybe write a strongly worded letter. But watch out lads! Don't piss off the 'Muzzos', because they're all super violent, yeah? And they'll, like, totally blow us up, man! And that's, like, totally bad for business!
So yes, I agree with Matt and Trey about their message about censorship, but it doesn't make the 200th episode any better because they just repeated the exact same message they made in Cartoon Wars, except taking it to a higher and grander level. Even jokes were reused again and again, signifying that maybe Parker and Stone have run out of ideas as well. Is this what the "impending" 2012 apocalypse is all about? Are we all going to run out of original thoughts until we end up repeating history itself, causing the world to get confused as to what year it is and implode? Or perhaps will the multitude of offended Muslims kill us all for taking things "too far"?
I'll tell you one thing though; if the world is going to end in December 2012, Monster's Inc. 2 had better be good. I don't want to die disappointed.
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
Street dancer? We'd settle for street sweeper, thanks
It may come as a shock to you, but this is the first time I've written to this blog for quite some time. I'm not entirely sure why either; since I graduated from University, I've basically been sitting around on the sofa of unemployment, looking under the cushions of the internet to see if there are any jobs there. Surely I'd have been able to take the time out from visiting nonsense websites to write a blog entry or two? Just spared a few minutes of my day formulating ideas and noting what I want to talk about? (Well, perhaps not that, I tend to walk into these things blind and make it up as I go along). But that's not what unemployment is all about!
When I was at school and university, I somehow managed to keep up to date with all of my digital exploits. I'm sure old friends of mine will remember the rapidity of my Bebo blogging. Well, all that changes when you're left with nothing to do. If you're a busy bee, it's probably because you add a lot more things to your plate that don't actually need doing. On the opposite end of the scale, when you have nothing to do you tend to keep it that way. A few weeks ago I stayed up for 24 hours just so I could see what a clock looked like at every time of the day; it's just that damn bad. But how can we counter this? How can we snatch just a snippet of focus from a completely disorganised day? I don't think we can, to be honest.
I obviously blame the internet. There's so much out there! With a few choice buzzwords and a couple of clicks, you could find your way to doing anything. Write a blog? Go for it. Put videos on YouTube? Get stuck in. Learn how to defuse a bomb? Sure, if that's what you want. With such a wealth of information at your fingertips, it's impossible to not find something to do. But it's because there's so much to do that you end up doing nothing. One flashy advert can be the difference between doing what you came to do and doing sod all because something else caught your attention. Last week I went online to discover the name of an actor I'd just seen on TV. Somehow that led me to researching to execution of the Russian royal family two hours later. Don't ask me how I got from A to B, because I have absolutely no idea.
The browsers are to blame! Life would be so much better if you could only ever have one window or tab open at any one time, because then you can't open something that arouses your interest to look at later, you have to focus on what you're doing. I don't know how many of you have ever visited the website TV Tropes, but I ended up wasting more hours than I care to admit on that bastard, with my peak "new window" quota reaching around 20, each with about 5 tabs open. That's a lot of useless information to waste your time with, even when that time would otherwise be spent trying to discover new ways of scratching yourself without having to move from a comfortable position.
If that wasn't bad enough, now that the world and his wife is on Facebook and Twitter, the chances of doing something worthwhile with your day are safely tucked away in the cupboard under the stairs, right next to your first bike and all your Christmas decorations. Why on earth would I want to exert myself mentally and physically and do something that could be really beneficial to me, when I could be reading about what Stephen Fry had for breakfast? Ok, bad example, it's impossible to relate Stephen Fry to anything negative, but my point remains; we've become a culture of inane layabouts who are far too obsessed with the lives of other people. We sit around watching television programs about successful people, then get jealous of them because we wish we were successful ourselves. Then the moment passes, and we all shuffle off to the toilet during the adverts before cracking open another packet of Monster Munch. Britain's Got Talent started again last week. What fun it is to watch people doing whatever they can to live their dreams! Such hilarious exploits! I'm so glad I chose to stay indoors on a Saturday night following a long week of 9-5 grinding, rather than being one of those losers, having fun and doing a job they enjoy! Idiots!
Trying to put sarcasm aside, which is quite difficult for me, I really am concerned with the state of underachievers in this country. Obviously there are people out there who could be fantastic at what they do, they just don't have the drive to do it anymore. We've become so used to laughing at people who try to reach the stars that we're terrified of doing it ourselves, lest we get laughed at as well. I was on an employability training course last week, and I got a real insight into my generation. So many of us, me included, had a dream, a single goal or perfect career that we'd love to get into. But when asked what job we'd go for, we practically said we'd settle for anything. The trainers then gave us a moderately hard kick up the backside and drummed the message into our heads; if there's something you absolutely want to do, no matter what, then just go for it. Try your best to get there and your hard work could very well pay off! And I completely agree, people should do what it is they want to do. Otherwise there's no point being alive at all!
The motivational speaker who came to talk to us last Thursday said "if you always do what you always did, then you'll always get what you always got." I'd offer an explanation as to what on earth that means, but I have to go; there's something good on TV in a minute.
When I was at school and university, I somehow managed to keep up to date with all of my digital exploits. I'm sure old friends of mine will remember the rapidity of my Bebo blogging. Well, all that changes when you're left with nothing to do. If you're a busy bee, it's probably because you add a lot more things to your plate that don't actually need doing. On the opposite end of the scale, when you have nothing to do you tend to keep it that way. A few weeks ago I stayed up for 24 hours just so I could see what a clock looked like at every time of the day; it's just that damn bad. But how can we counter this? How can we snatch just a snippet of focus from a completely disorganised day? I don't think we can, to be honest.
I obviously blame the internet. There's so much out there! With a few choice buzzwords and a couple of clicks, you could find your way to doing anything. Write a blog? Go for it. Put videos on YouTube? Get stuck in. Learn how to defuse a bomb? Sure, if that's what you want. With such a wealth of information at your fingertips, it's impossible to not find something to do. But it's because there's so much to do that you end up doing nothing. One flashy advert can be the difference between doing what you came to do and doing sod all because something else caught your attention. Last week I went online to discover the name of an actor I'd just seen on TV. Somehow that led me to researching to execution of the Russian royal family two hours later. Don't ask me how I got from A to B, because I have absolutely no idea.
The browsers are to blame! Life would be so much better if you could only ever have one window or tab open at any one time, because then you can't open something that arouses your interest to look at later, you have to focus on what you're doing. I don't know how many of you have ever visited the website TV Tropes, but I ended up wasting more hours than I care to admit on that bastard, with my peak "new window" quota reaching around 20, each with about 5 tabs open. That's a lot of useless information to waste your time with, even when that time would otherwise be spent trying to discover new ways of scratching yourself without having to move from a comfortable position.
If that wasn't bad enough, now that the world and his wife is on Facebook and Twitter, the chances of doing something worthwhile with your day are safely tucked away in the cupboard under the stairs, right next to your first bike and all your Christmas decorations. Why on earth would I want to exert myself mentally and physically and do something that could be really beneficial to me, when I could be reading about what Stephen Fry had for breakfast? Ok, bad example, it's impossible to relate Stephen Fry to anything negative, but my point remains; we've become a culture of inane layabouts who are far too obsessed with the lives of other people. We sit around watching television programs about successful people, then get jealous of them because we wish we were successful ourselves. Then the moment passes, and we all shuffle off to the toilet during the adverts before cracking open another packet of Monster Munch. Britain's Got Talent started again last week. What fun it is to watch people doing whatever they can to live their dreams! Such hilarious exploits! I'm so glad I chose to stay indoors on a Saturday night following a long week of 9-5 grinding, rather than being one of those losers, having fun and doing a job they enjoy! Idiots!
Trying to put sarcasm aside, which is quite difficult for me, I really am concerned with the state of underachievers in this country. Obviously there are people out there who could be fantastic at what they do, they just don't have the drive to do it anymore. We've become so used to laughing at people who try to reach the stars that we're terrified of doing it ourselves, lest we get laughed at as well. I was on an employability training course last week, and I got a real insight into my generation. So many of us, me included, had a dream, a single goal or perfect career that we'd love to get into. But when asked what job we'd go for, we practically said we'd settle for anything. The trainers then gave us a moderately hard kick up the backside and drummed the message into our heads; if there's something you absolutely want to do, no matter what, then just go for it. Try your best to get there and your hard work could very well pay off! And I completely agree, people should do what it is they want to do. Otherwise there's no point being alive at all!
The motivational speaker who came to talk to us last Thursday said "if you always do what you always did, then you'll always get what you always got." I'd offer an explanation as to what on earth that means, but I have to go; there's something good on TV in a minute.
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Are you having fun? Well you shouldn't be, it's only August...
I recently had a conversation with my girlfriend and her mother about Christmas. They were on the typical side of “Christmas is amazing, woohoo” etc. I, on the other hand, was on the rarer side opposing Christmas and everything it stands for.
Well, what it stands for these days anyway. Few people seem to remember that Christmas is, historically, a celebration of the birth of Christ. Wait, not historically, what’s the word… mythologically, that’s it! It was made up in medieval times to celebrate the (incorrectly dated) birth of a man made up a thousand years before. But that isn’t what Christmas stands for anymore, not in the slightest. Christmas now stands for three things that make me hate it so.
1) Commercialisation. Don’t get me started on this, it’s a well-rehearsed speech from many, if not all, anti-Christmas folk like me. Constant adverts screaming “BUY OUR STUFF, IT’S CHRISTMAS!”; television executives agreeing “We want good ratings, let’s make a Christmas special out of EVERYTHING!”; children writing down lists and lists of everything they could possibly want and nothing they could possibly need, selfishly disregarding anybody else. The examples are endless, it’s a time where everyone can be at their greediest and nobody else bats an eyelid. How ironic that this is called the time of “giving”. Obviously there is a lot of giving involved, people passing presents on to each other and getting an ego boost and sense of self-satisfaction from it. But let’s not forget that the process of buying these gifts, Christmas shopping, is almost universally abhorred. People hate Christmas shopping, thus they hate buying gifts for people. Ergo, they hate giving. It’s the one commercial thing about Christmas that isn’t selfish or greedy and, what do you know, everyone hates it.
2) Falsehood. Everyone pretends to be happy because we’re told this whole ‘holiday’ is a happy time. Everyone takes time off from being horrible to each other over in order to be nice instead. Take Christmas 1914; after weeks of ripping each other apart by machine guns and shells, the English and German forces had a ceasefire on Christmas Day to play a football match. And then the very next day they went back to slaughtering each other. Yeah, what a wonderful time of year. People always act all nice and happy with each other during this period, calling it “Christmas spirit”, then when Christmas is over and they start being awful to each other again, they complain about how they wish it was Christmas. Heads up, guys. Perhaps if you took the time out from all the suing, mugging, stealing, firing, attacking, shouting, slandering, bitching and moaning, you’d realise that Christmas is celebrated because everyone is nice to each other. So if you stop being such tools and instead treat everyone like human beings 365 days a year, you’d realise it wasn’t such a special occasion.
3) Excuses. Seriously, this is what annoys me the most about Christmas; everyone uses it as an excuse to do things. “Hey, I’m going to go out with my friends tonight because it’s Christmas”; “Let’s get the whole family together because it’s Christmas”; “I think we should go and do something fun because it’s Christmas”. Stop it now. You don’t need an excuse to enjoy your lives, for God’s sake. If you want to go out with your friends, do it. If you really wanted to spend time with your family, you wouldn’t only do it once a year; you’d do it as often as you could. If you fancy doing something fun that’s readily available all year round, then do it, don’t put it off until the busiest time of year just because you feel it’s your obligation to have a miserable life for 11 months just for a few moments of enjoyment all squeezed into December. Just get out there and enjoy your life, you don’t need a stale, twee, medieval festival to govern how you act. So stop all this saccharine “we must all be together because it’s Christmas!” nonsense and just get out there and do things when you want to do them. What’s your excuse? “Oh, I can’t, I have work all week!” What, the work you spend all year doing just so you can throw all your money away on Christmas at the end of it? “I’m too busy, what with the kids and the housework and everything.” Children are children all year. In fact, they’re even worse during Christmas. And housework ALWAYS needs doing, especially if you have to cook and clean up for a load of family members you invited round for Christmas dinner because you just couldn’t be bothered seeing them at any other time of year.
So there, that’s why I hate Christmas. People always say religion is stale and we should just get rid of it and move on, but once someone mentions Christmas, people turn into idiots and start romanticising about this terrible time of year. It’s not even in a good month, it’s in the backside of the calendar. Constantly cold, always raining but never snowing, ice covering the pavements and roads, making walking and driving very hazardous experiences, it’s a horrible time of year. Things would be better if December didn’t even exist. That way we wouldn’t have to endure New Year’s Eve either, another excuse-ridden, greetings-card-manufactured celebration. Why need an excuse to have a party? Just have one already. So the number of the year has gone up by one? Big deal. The number of the day goes up everyday, but you don’t see people going “OH MY GOD IT’S NEW JUNE DAY, LET’S HAVE A PARTY!” They just say, “Oh, it’s the first of June. Whoop-de-doo.”
So stop acting like Christmas is some magical time of year; happiness can’t be forced, family can’t be avoided, reindeer can’t fly, and, above all, Santa Claus doesn’t exist. And neither did Jesus. So grow up already.
Well, what it stands for these days anyway. Few people seem to remember that Christmas is, historically, a celebration of the birth of Christ. Wait, not historically, what’s the word… mythologically, that’s it! It was made up in medieval times to celebrate the (incorrectly dated) birth of a man made up a thousand years before. But that isn’t what Christmas stands for anymore, not in the slightest. Christmas now stands for three things that make me hate it so.
1) Commercialisation. Don’t get me started on this, it’s a well-rehearsed speech from many, if not all, anti-Christmas folk like me. Constant adverts screaming “BUY OUR STUFF, IT’S CHRISTMAS!”; television executives agreeing “We want good ratings, let’s make a Christmas special out of EVERYTHING!”; children writing down lists and lists of everything they could possibly want and nothing they could possibly need, selfishly disregarding anybody else. The examples are endless, it’s a time where everyone can be at their greediest and nobody else bats an eyelid. How ironic that this is called the time of “giving”. Obviously there is a lot of giving involved, people passing presents on to each other and getting an ego boost and sense of self-satisfaction from it. But let’s not forget that the process of buying these gifts, Christmas shopping, is almost universally abhorred. People hate Christmas shopping, thus they hate buying gifts for people. Ergo, they hate giving. It’s the one commercial thing about Christmas that isn’t selfish or greedy and, what do you know, everyone hates it.
2) Falsehood. Everyone pretends to be happy because we’re told this whole ‘holiday’ is a happy time. Everyone takes time off from being horrible to each other over in order to be nice instead. Take Christmas 1914; after weeks of ripping each other apart by machine guns and shells, the English and German forces had a ceasefire on Christmas Day to play a football match. And then the very next day they went back to slaughtering each other. Yeah, what a wonderful time of year. People always act all nice and happy with each other during this period, calling it “Christmas spirit”, then when Christmas is over and they start being awful to each other again, they complain about how they wish it was Christmas. Heads up, guys. Perhaps if you took the time out from all the suing, mugging, stealing, firing, attacking, shouting, slandering, bitching and moaning, you’d realise that Christmas is celebrated because everyone is nice to each other. So if you stop being such tools and instead treat everyone like human beings 365 days a year, you’d realise it wasn’t such a special occasion.
3) Excuses. Seriously, this is what annoys me the most about Christmas; everyone uses it as an excuse to do things. “Hey, I’m going to go out with my friends tonight because it’s Christmas”; “Let’s get the whole family together because it’s Christmas”; “I think we should go and do something fun because it’s Christmas”. Stop it now. You don’t need an excuse to enjoy your lives, for God’s sake. If you want to go out with your friends, do it. If you really wanted to spend time with your family, you wouldn’t only do it once a year; you’d do it as often as you could. If you fancy doing something fun that’s readily available all year round, then do it, don’t put it off until the busiest time of year just because you feel it’s your obligation to have a miserable life for 11 months just for a few moments of enjoyment all squeezed into December. Just get out there and enjoy your life, you don’t need a stale, twee, medieval festival to govern how you act. So stop all this saccharine “we must all be together because it’s Christmas!” nonsense and just get out there and do things when you want to do them. What’s your excuse? “Oh, I can’t, I have work all week!” What, the work you spend all year doing just so you can throw all your money away on Christmas at the end of it? “I’m too busy, what with the kids and the housework and everything.” Children are children all year. In fact, they’re even worse during Christmas. And housework ALWAYS needs doing, especially if you have to cook and clean up for a load of family members you invited round for Christmas dinner because you just couldn’t be bothered seeing them at any other time of year.
So there, that’s why I hate Christmas. People always say religion is stale and we should just get rid of it and move on, but once someone mentions Christmas, people turn into idiots and start romanticising about this terrible time of year. It’s not even in a good month, it’s in the backside of the calendar. Constantly cold, always raining but never snowing, ice covering the pavements and roads, making walking and driving very hazardous experiences, it’s a horrible time of year. Things would be better if December didn’t even exist. That way we wouldn’t have to endure New Year’s Eve either, another excuse-ridden, greetings-card-manufactured celebration. Why need an excuse to have a party? Just have one already. So the number of the year has gone up by one? Big deal. The number of the day goes up everyday, but you don’t see people going “OH MY GOD IT’S NEW JUNE DAY, LET’S HAVE A PARTY!” They just say, “Oh, it’s the first of June. Whoop-de-doo.”
So stop acting like Christmas is some magical time of year; happiness can’t be forced, family can’t be avoided, reindeer can’t fly, and, above all, Santa Claus doesn’t exist. And neither did Jesus. So grow up already.
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Don't make a fuss when I die... oh, you weren't going to anyway, ok!
Before I start, I'd like to take a few moments to comment on the recent death of Michael Jackson; Stop clogging up all the newspapers. These last two weeks, I haven't been able to open my eyes without seeing headlines and tributes and all manner of mentions towards MJ's demise. Now I'm not a cold-hearted man, I'm not going to say I'm glad he's dead, regardless of all the things he may have done in his life that weren't exactly above board. I am, however, a man who knows about how far people can push things until they exceed the limit; the MJ cashcow should've dried up days ago, yet still we're being subjected to conspiracy theories, Facebook fan pages, 10-page pullouts and, of course, the obligatory but rapidly tiresome jokes. Too many bandwagons spoil the journey, and there must be a whole lot of bandwagons in this case, what with the millions of people that seem to be jumping onto them.
Farrah Fawcett didn't have this much attention drawn to her death. Billy Mays and Molly Sugden practically went unheeded when they bit the dust, save for the odd quarter-page newspaper tribute and occasional pub quiz question, so why should Michael Jackson get so much attention? He was clearly a gifted singer and dancer, and it's no secret that his music is loved and praised all over the world, but people could argue that Farrah Fawcett and Molly Sugden did the same thing with television, or Billy Mays contributed the same amount to the world of shouting at people to buy gimmicky products. But as these others are brushed off as yesterday's news, MJ is still pilfering the headlines of every newspaper and magazine from here to the horizon. Why? Because he was a freak, that's why.
If Michael Jackson was simply a talented musician, people would have mourned him for a day and then carried on with the rest of their own lives, but because he was so widely renowned for being insane, his legacy continues in the form of constant news stories. I admit that his father is to blame by thrusting him into the limelight at such a young age, and I agree with other people that suggest the whole business of inviting children to Neverland for sleepovers was his attempt to live out the childhood he never had, but the point remains that, because of all this, people knew he was mentally challenged. What kind of healthy person would call their child Blanket and proceed to dangle them over a balcony? None, normal people don't do that, which is why normal people don't get news coverage, even upon their death.
We're a nation of people that love a good freak show. Why else would Big Brother still be going after all these years? It certainly isn't for the intelligent conversation that goes on inside the house; it's because British people think "Hey, this year's lot are a bunch of weirdos, I hope they do something hilariously stupid like kill each other!" Reality TV is a horrible concoction, but nobody can deny that it brings in the freaks and viewers alike. Millions of people watched the X-Factor final last year, but that's because they actually cared who won. Millions more people watched the first auditions because that's when they show all the lunatics that were allowed through the two previous, untelevised auditions because of the entertainment value. I've an idea for a new slogan the British Tourist Board can use to describe our culture - Britons Love Cretins.
It isn't just freaky people we love either, it's freak weather. Sudden rainstorms, heatwaves, cold snaps, floods, miniscule earthquakes, once they arrive on the scene, the press is sure to follow. One of the Entertainment headlines on the BBC main page is "Potter stars drenched at premier", which was also a story in some of the celebrity spreads in the national papers today. The gist of the story, as you can imagine, was that something utterly drole happened, but it's "news" because it happened to famous people AND involved freak weather. Double the entertainment value, clearly.
The story, in full might I add, is that it rained at the premier of the new Harry Potter film. Some of the stars got wet, while Emma Watson stayed in her limo until someone brought her an umbrella. She was even judged as a spoil-sport for such an action! Imagine, wanting to stay dry rather than walk out in the rain! What a bitch!
I am, of course, being sarcastic, and I hope the editors of said papers were too when they said this story was a good idea, because it isn't. So what if the Harry Potter stars got wet in the rain yesterday? I got wet in the rain yesterday as well, but you don't see a full-page spread in my local paper about that. But that's because I'm not a celebrity. We all seem to have this fascination with celebrities as being in the upper echelons of humanity, and we admire and fawn over their lives even though they're quite similar to our own, save for their job (if they have one) and how much money they have. Just because they have £50 in their wallet instead of £5 doesn't mean the fish and chips they're eating is any more interesting than the fish and chips everyone else is eating, so it's time to put a stop to this nonsense and start talking about actual news, rather than made up news.
And speaking of actual news, I heard something about Michael Jackson the other day.....
Until next time, my z-list celebrities, ta raa!
Farrah Fawcett didn't have this much attention drawn to her death. Billy Mays and Molly Sugden practically went unheeded when they bit the dust, save for the odd quarter-page newspaper tribute and occasional pub quiz question, so why should Michael Jackson get so much attention? He was clearly a gifted singer and dancer, and it's no secret that his music is loved and praised all over the world, but people could argue that Farrah Fawcett and Molly Sugden did the same thing with television, or Billy Mays contributed the same amount to the world of shouting at people to buy gimmicky products. But as these others are brushed off as yesterday's news, MJ is still pilfering the headlines of every newspaper and magazine from here to the horizon. Why? Because he was a freak, that's why.
If Michael Jackson was simply a talented musician, people would have mourned him for a day and then carried on with the rest of their own lives, but because he was so widely renowned for being insane, his legacy continues in the form of constant news stories. I admit that his father is to blame by thrusting him into the limelight at such a young age, and I agree with other people that suggest the whole business of inviting children to Neverland for sleepovers was his attempt to live out the childhood he never had, but the point remains that, because of all this, people knew he was mentally challenged. What kind of healthy person would call their child Blanket and proceed to dangle them over a balcony? None, normal people don't do that, which is why normal people don't get news coverage, even upon their death.
We're a nation of people that love a good freak show. Why else would Big Brother still be going after all these years? It certainly isn't for the intelligent conversation that goes on inside the house; it's because British people think "Hey, this year's lot are a bunch of weirdos, I hope they do something hilariously stupid like kill each other!" Reality TV is a horrible concoction, but nobody can deny that it brings in the freaks and viewers alike. Millions of people watched the X-Factor final last year, but that's because they actually cared who won. Millions more people watched the first auditions because that's when they show all the lunatics that were allowed through the two previous, untelevised auditions because of the entertainment value. I've an idea for a new slogan the British Tourist Board can use to describe our culture - Britons Love Cretins.
It isn't just freaky people we love either, it's freak weather. Sudden rainstorms, heatwaves, cold snaps, floods, miniscule earthquakes, once they arrive on the scene, the press is sure to follow. One of the Entertainment headlines on the BBC main page is "Potter stars drenched at premier", which was also a story in some of the celebrity spreads in the national papers today. The gist of the story, as you can imagine, was that something utterly drole happened, but it's "news" because it happened to famous people AND involved freak weather. Double the entertainment value, clearly.
The story, in full might I add, is that it rained at the premier of the new Harry Potter film. Some of the stars got wet, while Emma Watson stayed in her limo until someone brought her an umbrella. She was even judged as a spoil-sport for such an action! Imagine, wanting to stay dry rather than walk out in the rain! What a bitch!
I am, of course, being sarcastic, and I hope the editors of said papers were too when they said this story was a good idea, because it isn't. So what if the Harry Potter stars got wet in the rain yesterday? I got wet in the rain yesterday as well, but you don't see a full-page spread in my local paper about that. But that's because I'm not a celebrity. We all seem to have this fascination with celebrities as being in the upper echelons of humanity, and we admire and fawn over their lives even though they're quite similar to our own, save for their job (if they have one) and how much money they have. Just because they have £50 in their wallet instead of £5 doesn't mean the fish and chips they're eating is any more interesting than the fish and chips everyone else is eating, so it's time to put a stop to this nonsense and start talking about actual news, rather than made up news.
And speaking of actual news, I heard something about Michael Jackson the other day.....
Until next time, my z-list celebrities, ta raa!
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
In reverie: the lull between eras
I'm not in the best mood right now, it has to be said. I'm not entirely sure why, maybe it's the mixture of music, boredom, inactivity and reminiscence. These past few days I've been feeling very trapped, as though I've unlocked a new door into life but haven't the strength to open it, and even when I do manage to lock my fist around the knob and turn it, my feet are set in place and I can't move forwards. A part of me blames my dire financial situation, the rest just stares about, forlorn and confused.
Finishing University seems to have taken its toll, finally; those that have long finished University always describe it as "the greatest experience you'll ever have", which doesn't bode well considering it's just come to an end for me. Does this mean my life's going to go downhill from here? Was University my one last flourish of true freedom before my education ends and my real (and apparently lesser) life begins? No, not in the slightest; I have many wonderful things to experience that far outweigh the simplistic frivolities University offers, that seem to reach no further than drinking, throwing up, forgetting everything and making as many mistakes in a single night as possible.
I've got marriage to look forward to; having children; doing at least one of my two dream jobs. I think my problem extends to the fact that, though I may have finished, the vast majority of my friends haven't and, as such, they can continue to enjoy their lack of responsibility and keep appreciating the simple things whilst I have to, contradictory of my personality though it is, grow up. I mean, my girfriend, the girl I intend to eventually marry and spend the rest of my life with, has only just started University. Tonight she was out all night with her friends, getting ridiculously drunk and having an all-round good time, whereas I was sat in my Dad's quiet living room, in the quiet village, having a nice quiet beer and a marginally quiet chat about all sorts of things. Was I jealous? Very. Was I angry? A little, yes, though not at her; more, I was angry at how I don't get to do that anymore.
For me, the next few months of my life will be spent working somewhere like Tesco, patiently labouring, waiting for the long months to pass until I get to begin teacher training, or touring the country with my acoustic, or possibly even travelling to all the places in the world I said I'd visit as a student and never did. I'm not ready to grow up yet, not by a long shot, I've still got so many things I want to do. But, even though I'm still very young, it feels like I have no time to do any of these things now. The ending of an era has a strange way of making one feel like all the opportunities that said era had to offer, even though they're still available now, have been lost; I now feel like I have no choice but to move on, put aside all the dreams I had in the "to not be touched" box in my memory, along with all things I should've said to some people, activities I meant to partake in but never got round to and ideas I wanted to test while I still had the chance.
No doubt I'll feel better in the morning, I always do. But I think for the next few weeks I'll continue to be lodged in this odd frame of mind, as I spend my time trying to find (and then perform) a job and unpacking the last three years of my life into my tiny bedroom back home, because for the next few weeks, or even months, I don't think I'll have anything to really look forward to, because this is the quiet lull in chapter transitions when nothing really happens; this is the part of the novel where the character has experienced one major event in their life and is getting back to normal before the next one suddenly hits him/her.
It's depressing to say goodbye to such an amazing experience as University, but only because there's such a long wait until the next amazing experience comes along. And until it does, no doubt I'll be living my life very quietly, patiently labouring until it arrives.
Finishing University seems to have taken its toll, finally; those that have long finished University always describe it as "the greatest experience you'll ever have", which doesn't bode well considering it's just come to an end for me. Does this mean my life's going to go downhill from here? Was University my one last flourish of true freedom before my education ends and my real (and apparently lesser) life begins? No, not in the slightest; I have many wonderful things to experience that far outweigh the simplistic frivolities University offers, that seem to reach no further than drinking, throwing up, forgetting everything and making as many mistakes in a single night as possible.
I've got marriage to look forward to; having children; doing at least one of my two dream jobs. I think my problem extends to the fact that, though I may have finished, the vast majority of my friends haven't and, as such, they can continue to enjoy their lack of responsibility and keep appreciating the simple things whilst I have to, contradictory of my personality though it is, grow up. I mean, my girfriend, the girl I intend to eventually marry and spend the rest of my life with, has only just started University. Tonight she was out all night with her friends, getting ridiculously drunk and having an all-round good time, whereas I was sat in my Dad's quiet living room, in the quiet village, having a nice quiet beer and a marginally quiet chat about all sorts of things. Was I jealous? Very. Was I angry? A little, yes, though not at her; more, I was angry at how I don't get to do that anymore.
For me, the next few months of my life will be spent working somewhere like Tesco, patiently labouring, waiting for the long months to pass until I get to begin teacher training, or touring the country with my acoustic, or possibly even travelling to all the places in the world I said I'd visit as a student and never did. I'm not ready to grow up yet, not by a long shot, I've still got so many things I want to do. But, even though I'm still very young, it feels like I have no time to do any of these things now. The ending of an era has a strange way of making one feel like all the opportunities that said era had to offer, even though they're still available now, have been lost; I now feel like I have no choice but to move on, put aside all the dreams I had in the "to not be touched" box in my memory, along with all things I should've said to some people, activities I meant to partake in but never got round to and ideas I wanted to test while I still had the chance.
No doubt I'll feel better in the morning, I always do. But I think for the next few weeks I'll continue to be lodged in this odd frame of mind, as I spend my time trying to find (and then perform) a job and unpacking the last three years of my life into my tiny bedroom back home, because for the next few weeks, or even months, I don't think I'll have anything to really look forward to, because this is the quiet lull in chapter transitions when nothing really happens; this is the part of the novel where the character has experienced one major event in their life and is getting back to normal before the next one suddenly hits him/her.
It's depressing to say goodbye to such an amazing experience as University, but only because there's such a long wait until the next amazing experience comes along. And until it does, no doubt I'll be living my life very quietly, patiently labouring until it arrives.
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